Dirty Jokes and Funny Jokes

·         Humne Suna hain ki..
Shyadi ki gaanth to upar aasmaan main hi bandh jaati hai..

Insan to only Peticoat Salwar or Bra ki
gaanthe kholne ke liye hi zameen par bheja jaata hai.

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·         After 3 months of marriage Santa got a baby from his ,

·         Santa     : Yo 3 months mein baby kaise ho gaya?
Biwi Boli : Kitne Mahine Ho gaye hai  Tumhare Shyadi ko ?
Santa     : 3 months.
Biwi       : And meri shyadi ko?
Santa    : 3 months.
Biwi       : Aur bachcha kab hua?
Santa    : 3 months baad.
Biwi       : Total kitne months ho gaya?
Santa    : Ohh teri ke vakai ye to sach maine 9 months ho gaye hai !
time kitna jaldi jata hai  pata nahi chalta? 

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·         Wife bathroom se naha ke nikalti hai to Santa use ghurne lag jata hai

Wife comes in romatntic mood and say,
Kuch karne ka irada hai kya ?
Santa 2 thappad maar ke bola,
Mere garm pani se kyu nahayi!!

( Wants to do somethings ?)
: ( he slap her and said )
 “why you used my lukewarm water to bath”


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The best proposal for marriage
Boy apni girl friend ke papa se ladki ka hath mangne gaya,
Boy : Uncle main aapki ladki ka hath maange aaya hu
Ladki ka pap : kyo ?
Boy : kyoki ab mera hath thuk chukka hai

Husband Wife Jokes with maid and Watchman

Wife had doubt that her husband has relation with maid,

.
To caught her husband with maid, she made one plan,

She sent her maid for leave with any reason and slept in her bed,

Raat ko Husband  ne pet main Dard kaha or toilet gaya
wife Maid ke Bed Par ja ke so gaye or Switched off the Light,
Someone silently entered the Room and start having sex
.
.
After Sex wife boli – Are you shocked seeing me here and switch on the light
.
.
watchman cried  - Oh!!!  Madam Aap ?!!!

Moral – Don’t try to be over smart

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Not Enough Long !!!!!!!!!!!!!!

A husband and his wife were trying to renew the password for their Laptop. The husband enters the password as,  "Mypenis," one message blink on the screen and the wife laughed loudly and falls on the floor laughing because  the error message on the screen was, "Not long enough”.

LOL,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,LOL,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,LOL